I have been reading this thread with interest since last year. I am not sure there is an either/or answer. I think it is more based on individual relationships and personalities of parent/coach and child.
I offer my own experience as I coach my son and the rest of the team. For me the struggle comes in the practice room not on tournament days. That struggle comes because as a parent I know when my kid isn't working up to their potential and I know to motivate sometimes I need to be more directive in nature (ie, more of a parent) than I will as a coach of someone else's child. At a certain point I was going to go into the stands and be a parent or focus on coaching other team members so it wouldn't hurt my relationship with my son or make him not like wrestling....well was I wrong on that idea.....when I tried to do that my son didn't want that. So what I find myself doing now is trying to look at him more through my coaches eyes rather than a parents eyes. The good news is that we were able to work through this and it really helped us to work with each other and communicate. I feel our father/son and coach/wrestler relationships are better because of it. I find myself explaining to him why I am pushing him or getting on him more than I have in the past. This helps him understand my perspective. I have also started working more on getting his perspective. This has helped me to teach him about some of the bigger life lessons that you get out of wrestling.
The bottomline is that you can't forget the love and praise part. That's what keeps them all coming back!
