Yesterday, at the Salina Tournament, I lost my composure with an official. Actually, that is an understatement...I was an idiot. I should have been kicked out. I would have kicked myself out. The official was merciful...he didn't kick me out and I appreciate that. But his mercy in no way diminishes the inexcusable way that I handled myself. Because I wasn't kicked out, I got the opportunity to walk around the Bicentennial Center feeling very ashamed of my actions. Whether true or not, I felt the eyes of a hundred kids follow me as they tugged on their parent's shirt and said, "Look mommy, there goes that bad man."
So here is my list of apologies:
1. To the official. I am deeply sorry. You deserve far more respect and adult like behavior than what I showed. You have the toughest job in that building and there will always be someone who thinks you got the call wrong. You handled me with patience and you were a better man than I was.
2. To all the officials. I feel like I did a little bit to hurt the sport yesterday. I am sorry.
3. To our opponent and his coach. You should not be forced to endure actions like I showed. You were the better wrestler that match. You deserved to enjoy your victory without me screaming "unfair!" at the top of my lungs.
4. To my kids. Your coach was a jerk. I try to teach you guys the physical, mental and emotional challenges of this very tough sport and I failed you yesterday. My behavior was inexcusable. So it appears that I have as much work to do starting Monday as you guys do. I pledge to do better to lead by the example that I try to teach.
5. To the parents of my kids. Your child deserves a better mentor than what I demonstrated. I will get better.
6. To all the other coaches, wrestlers and spectators who witnessed my stupidity. I disrespected the sport and the values that the sport tries to teach. I am sorry.
I had several people approach me after my outburst and offer support: "We have all been there"..."You are just showing passion for your kid"..."The call was bad"...I appreciate all of your support. However, the wrestling community cannot accept behavior like I showed. I know the officials are tolerant of coaches and parents because this is an emotional sport. However, we cannot allow ourselves to justify or excuse attacks on the officials. There is just no place for it. Whether the call is correct or not, there are values and standards that we must hold ourselves to that go beyond winning and losing. We all know this but it cannot be just lip service that we pay on a wrestling talk forum. I have got to walk the talk. I must be a role model not just to the kids on my team but every other kid on other teams that waits at the side of the mat for his turn to compete. Each outburst does some damage to our sport and our kids.
At times, the officials talk in the coaches meetings about not tolerating attacks. At times, the talk is tough. They tell us that "you will be kicked out". But this doesn't happen often. Coaches and parents who deserve to be kicked out are rarely removed. This is because the officials don't want to kick us out. Even after we lose all of our composure, the official still tries to find a reason not to take that final difficult step. I don't see this changing. What this means for me is that I must do more to police my own bevavior. If that official can keep his composure while I am screaming in his face, then I should certainly be able to find the same kind of character and restraint not to scream in his face.
I wish I could have that moment back. I cannot. I am sorry. I will try to fix it.
Craig Mitchell
Baldwin Wrestling Club
