A lot of good stuff is being shared here. I can tell you this is no easy fix. My 10 YEAR old still cries after each loss. If it's a bad loss it can get real ugly. I'm thankful on one hand that he doesn't lose very much, but on the other hand I wish he would lose more so he could practice be gracious in defeat. Heres what we have tried that has not worked (I am in no way stating that these techniques do not work, just not with my kid when I am applying the techniques.)
1. explain that it is not fair to the kid that won fair & square to make such a big scene that it takes away from his victory
2. make him watch other kids throw fits during tournaments & discuss how they don't look real cool when they are doing it.
3. watch matches where kids lose gracefully (some very tough losses) & discuss how much respect I have for that kid.
4. attempt to point out how this is just practice. Just fine tuning his skill set for the future.
5. talk about how losing you cool makes it so much easier for his opponent. We have even interviewed kids that he lost to to discuss when the match got easier for them. 100% responded when Alex lost his cool. (some of those interviewed kids were pre-screened when my son was not present)
6. explain that the kid beats you 2x if he sees you cry & wins the match.
7. make him watch video of him throwing a fit. (my wife was actually accused of child abuse for taping a melt down at Chapman this weekend)
8. There is the old standbye, yell at him for embarrassing himself, his team & his family for not acting appropriate in defeat. (does not work well)
9. Have older kids that use to cry & throw temper tantrums counsel him. ( i think this works well)
there are too many others to mention, shawnbudke makes a very good point that I have never thought by stating A lot of times these little guys are crying because they don't know how to let out the emotion. I think that may be it with my boy, thank you for that insight. IMO we have to be careful not to put out the competitive fire while teaching them what is appropriate & what is not.
