I don't believe you have to hit or spank to be an effective parent. Ultimately you need to share your expectations with your child as well as the consequences.
This may sound rough but when our kids were about 3 y.o. they were to make their bed prior to breakfast. (how hard is pulling a comforter up with your sheets and fixing your pillow?) or not have breakfast....after a few little impasses at 3 y.o. no more problems in life making their bed....of course don't know what they did in college in regards to their bed. The 8 y.o. seems to have no problem with the rule either. (.02 cents).
I truly believe that you do need to stick with your word and not fall back on it. If you say something to them .... mean what you say and say what you mean. Follow through without excuses, no matter how tired you are. You are the sunshine in their eyes.
If they gave it all they could in a match they did the best they could -- you as a parent simply aren't on the mat -- all too many times -- parents are wrestling their children's opponents.
The child knows the feeling of losing and if they truly want to turn the corner so to speak they won't let the feeling return.
The tantrums that I've seen even in 6-15 y.o. children on the mat arguing with the ref, throwing their headgear, biting, laying on the mat and crying have been poor sportsmanship at its best. One example happened to be a child of a well-known ref...arguing with the ref!
There have been some great points to consider in this topic. Good parenting is priceless....One parent once told me that children step on your toes when they're young and you're heart when they're older. They grow up way too quick. Take advantage of every moment and make it great!
Last edited by in it to win it; 02/11/09 11:38 AM. Reason: clarification
