Better yet....read first, then read the rule, then think, then speak.
There is no "tap out" rule in wrestling. You can always forfeit a match in progress, and you can always ask for an injury time out. But you need to speak up, not use hand signals. This is an MMA signal that is creeping into wrestling. In MMA it means you forfeit the match.
Unfortunately, a kid "tapping out" puts a ref in a bad spot. Because its not in the rule book, the official has to try to interpret the non-verbal signal...does it mean "I can't breathe," "I quit," "I'm hurt," or does it mean nothing but the kid is just flopping his arm around. The same thing happens when a kid starts stomping his foot on the mat...he's obviously doing it for a reason, but what reason?
Assuming there isn't some obvious injury situation (which is usually signaled verbally by a shout), about the best approach I've seen is for the official to try to get the kid to tell him what he wants by asking "do you forfeit?" Or "are you hurt?" Or just "there is no tap out in wrestling, you have to tell me what you want to do here." Most of these happen when the kid is in a tight scissors or in near fall but the offensive guy can't pin him because an arm or some body part is in the way and after the defensive wrestler has been held there for a while he is just tiring out and decides he needs to do something to get off his back or out of the match.
As an official, the last thing you want is a kid to be in danger of being injured and not be able to tell you so I can't blame an official for being cautious and stopping the match...what happens after the stoppage is going to raise the very problem you've mentioned, one coach thinks its a time out, the other a forfeit.
I did an informal poll of a number of coaches on this topic a year or so ago and about 1/2 said it meant the kid was intending to forfeit and the other half said it meant, or should mean, nothing and the official should not stop the match. So there's the quandry. Darned if you do, darned if you don't.
The ones who said "ignore it" were the more experienced coaches.
