Kansas Wrestling Forums General Discussion Kids Folkstyle Don't blame the Ref!

Every year about this time things get heated at the bigger tournaments. Things get posted about officials, I get frustrated and wind up posting this article by Ben Askren that our State Chairman, Mike Juby posted many years ago. It is still very fitting. Thought I would post it before some of those things get said which a person could take pretty personal. Just remember all those officials are doing this thankless job because most want to give in some way back to a sport they love. Here it is:

“Don't Blame the Ref “
By Ben Askren
The sport of wrestling is a "one on one" sport and most people involved take pride in that
aspect. However, to me, it seems many only keep it "one on one" when it seems convenient for
them to do so. What am I talking about? Blaming the referee!
How often do you hear "I got screwed by the referee?" Last week I heard the phrase from an 8
year old member of the club I help out with. It made me sick. Well I am here to tell you, by
blaming the referee you are taking the easy way out and degrading the sport.
I say this for a number of reasons. First, most refs are good natured and do their job to the
best of their ability. They don't get paid a lot and more often than not, they ref as a service to
the sport of wrestling. Which brings me to my next point; why are fans so out-of-control in
regard to referees? Refs are trying to do a good job. The next time there is a questionable call,
be quiet and listen to those around you. Most likely you will be thinking "Wow. These people
are crazy" or "Man, these people sound stupid." Well, guess what, you sound the exact same
way. Next time, as a fan, you feel the need to scream an obscenity at the top of your lungs,
DON'T! It really isn't necessary and isn't fair to the referees. How would you like it if someone
came to your job and screamed obscenities at you and told you, you sucked?
There is a wrestling referee shortage in America, and it is the fans fault. Give refs a break, and
use your energy to support your wrestler instead.
As a wrestler, the reason to not to blame the referee is simple. It is your fault you lost, not the
refs. So often, it is sickening to see wrestlers waiting for overtime or double OT and the flip.
That concept is foreign to me. I figure if you wait that long you deserve to lose the match. I
have a simple philosophy that prevents me from blaming the referee. If my match is close
enough where the ref can make a difference then it is my fault I put him in the equation. I
strongly believe all wrestlers should think this way. If you have a problem beating people by a
lot, the answer is simple: Work Harder. I have never seen Cael Sanderson or Alexander Karelin
whine about the call of a ref. Did you? Wrestlers, do your jobs! Take responsibility for what you
do and don't blame someone else.
Next time you are at a wrestling meet, relax, cheer for the wrestlers and don't heckle the
referee. Rather applaud (not literally) his effort.
Wrestlers, next time the ref makes a questionable call, think of where you could have worked
harder and be mad at yourself instead.
Good job refs! Have fun everyone.
Ben Askren, Volunteer Assistant Coach, University of Missouri
Olympic Team Hopeful
2 X NCAA D-I Champion
2 X NCAA D-I Runner-up
2007 ESPY Nominee for Best Male Athlete
2 X Dan Hodge Trophy Winner
3rd on NCAA Pin list with 91 falls
2 X Wisconsin High School State Champion

Everyone who has wrestled has felt like they were robbed or were the recipient of a good or bad call at some time...ref's are human and just as they say in any sport don't leave it in the hands of the referee!

My son had a very questionable call at state last year. That call was the difference between placing and not placing. I don't know what my instant reaction was, but my reaction right after the match was explaining to my son that we don't blame a loss on a ref. If the match was that close that a call affected the outcome...he should have done something different so the match wasn't that close. My worst fear is my 7 year old thinking he lost a match because of a call. That creates a monster when they are 16 or 18 years old.

My son had a few of these along the way in Kids' Federation and has had a few in high school as well. You make a great point about talking to your wrestler about an outcome seemingly being decided by a bad, often judgement call. They shouldn't dwell on it, they should learn from it. Once they get into high school, they will have plenty of close matches that can go either way and they just have to be happy with the those matches they win and learn from the matches they lose.