Pretty sure you stole this bit from my guy Rohn Juddy.

Not mentioned:

POACH CARKER: gets really mad if you ruin his single-game interception record in Madden '93 for SEGA even if it's like ten years after the game came out.

ZOACH CLATNIK: once had to write an apology note to his wrestlers after getting pinned multiple times by Prant Garker at that one practice a few years ago.