Kansas Wrestling
Posted By: megaman44791 Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 01:49 AM
Who would win in a fight...
Chuck Norris or Steven Seagal?
Posted By: SH Bronco 08 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 01:50 AM
What is the reason for this totally random question?
Posted By: megaman44791 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 01:50 AM
Pretty tough match up but i think the walker texas ranger would pull this one off...
Posted By: megaman44791 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 01:51 AM
this is an age old question. many scholars maintain the translation was lost years ago...
Posted By: SH Bronco 08 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 01:52 AM
I dont know, Walker could get a gun, but seagal always seem to pull a sword from his boot or sleeve...
Posted By: megaman44791 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 01:53 AM
one time this guy walked up to norris and asked him if his real name was charles....chuck didnt raise a finger but simply stared at him until he exploded....true story
Posted By: SH Bronco 08 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 01:55 AM
like went crazy exploded, or just blew up like a bomb?
Posted By: megaman44791 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 01:59 AM
blew up like a bomb...
Posted By: SH Bronco 08 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 02:00 AM
no freakin way
Posted By: chewbacca Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 02:17 AM
on New Years Eve 1998, Chuck Norris was at a party. when the clock struck twelve, instead of kissing someone, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked everyone at the party. He then proceeded to roundhouse kick everyone on the street, and the whole city. He has been doing this ever since.
Posted By: megaman44791 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 02:17 AM
yeah dude i swear. chuck norris' tears cure cancer.....too bad he's never cried
Posted By: SH Bronco 08 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 02:20 AM
to bad... I would hate to be on the end of that roundhouse kick
Posted By: chewbacca Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 02:21 AM
every piece of furniture in Chuck Norris's house is a Total Gym
Posted By: megaman44791 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 02:26 AM
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Posted By: SH Bronco 08 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 02:26 AM
I wish i had all that at my house, i would be huge
Posted By: SH Bronco 08 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 02:27 AM
that is hilarious
Posted By: chewbacca Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 02:29 AM
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths
Posted By: megaman44791 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 02:34 AM
chuck norris once shot down a german plane with his finger by yelling, "bang!"
Posted By: SH Bronco 08 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 02:34 AM
OK so it has just been concluded that the spiritualists are right, chuck norris was the first creature ever made, and instead of the meteor hitting makin the "big bang" Chuck norris got mad cause a dinosaur took his dinner ending all life other than his that night with roundhouse kicks to the head, yes even on the 20foot tall dinos
Posted By: chewbacca Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 02:36 AM
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
Posted By: megaman44791 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 02:38 AM
Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
Posted By: chewbacca Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 02:40 AM
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Posted By: megaman44791 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 02:42 AM
When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
Posted By: chewbacca Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 02:44 AM
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Posted By: megaman44791 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 02:47 AM
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
Posted By: chewbacca Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 02:48 AM
In 1959 Stephen Hawking became the first and only person to outsmart Chuck Norris. He learned his lesson.
Posted By: megaman44791 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 03:32 AM
one time chuck went hunting. he shot at the 32 point buck with his 30-30. he insisted the bullet was taking to long so he jumped in his dodge, beat the bullet to the deer and round house kicked the deer to the face before the bullet got there
Posted By: chewbacca Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 03:34 AM
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Posted By: megaman44791 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 03:40 AM
Chuck norris tried suing burger kind for not putting razor wire on his whopper jr. he insisted that it was his way.
Posted By: megaman44791 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 03:43 AM
burger king*** my bad
Posted By: megaman44791 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 04:47 AM
chuck norris had his own version of punk'd. only in his version he would walk around and round house kick everyone in the throats.
Posted By: XGHSWC Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 02:19 PM
When I came to work this morning, I was in a not so good mood. I was bummed out. Now I have laughed myself to happiness and I feel like roundhouse kicking someone in the throat. Thanks.
Posted By: SH Bronco 08 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 02:27 PM
Just do it to the guy that wants the same job as you and not your boss, cause that is a sure fire way to lose that job... but hey if your kick is good enough Norris might take you for his next filming
Posted By: megaman44791 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 03:50 PM
yeah, one time chuck went to work in a bad mood also....when he left everybody else had been round house kicked to the face
Posted By: megaman44791 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 03:52 PM
Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.
Posted By: Mike Furches Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 04:17 PM
Wasn't Norris but remember the movie Billy Jack and him telling the cop that he is going to kick him in the face? One of the great scenes in movies.
Posted By: megaman44791 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 06:07 PM
one time chucks girlfriend asked chuck "how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood" and chuck ripped her throat out and said "never rhyme in the presence of chuck norris"
Posted By: jahova13 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 06:42 PM
You guys are all retarted because steven segal would kill chuck norris in a fight anyway
Posted By: jahova13 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 06:44 PM
he'd break his neck
and he wouldn't even lose any sleep over it
Posted By: megaman44791 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 06:45 PM
previously posted by jahova13...
"you guys are all retarted because steven segal would kill chuck norris in a fight anyway"


hey jahova, did segal teach you how to type? it's "retarded" not "retarted"......who's retarded?
Posted By: jahova13 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 06:46 PM
obviously i got the point across why dont you stay on subject. if you don't have any thing to say just dont say anything insted of nit picking at typing skills
Posted By: jahova13 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 06:47 PM
you're just mad because you know its true
Posted By: megaman44791 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 06:48 PM
would you say that to chuck's face?
Posted By: megaman44791 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 06:48 PM
oh yeah, and it's "anything" not "any thing"
Posted By: jahova13 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 06:49 PM
yeah if i had segal in my corner to back me up
Posted By: megaman44791 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 06:51 PM
dude, segal was choked out by gene lebell after bragging that he was so bad. so gene challenged him and choked him out 2 times. the second time segal wet himself. true story, look it up.
Posted By: jahova13 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 06:53 PM
i know segals life story like the back of my hand and i know thats not true y don't you go teach english or something
Posted By: megaman44791 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 06:54 PM
Takeru Kobayashi ate 50 and a half hotdogs in 12 minutes. Chuck Norris ate 12 asian babies in 50 and a half minutes. Chuck Norris won.
Posted By: jahova13 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 06:55 PM
Yeah well segal ate chuck norris's baby and beat em' all
Posted By: megaman44791 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 06:56 PM
youre good
Posted By: chewbacca Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/09/05 11:44 PM
segal once tried to knife-fight Chuck Norris, but Chuck used his beard rather than a knife. After deflecting the blade many times with his beard, Chuck simply roundhouse kicked Segal so hard that his ponytail flew from his head. Then Chuck just simply said to the bleeding Segal, "Don't mess with Texas".
Posted By: megaman44791 Re: Norris or Seagal - 12/10/05 03:31 PM
chuck recently had the idea of selling his urine....we currently know this beverage as red bull.
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