Abdominal Pliers I
Word has come to my attention that my long lost uncle, Gutwrench I, has been posting on this forum. Please forgive him for any insulting remarks that he may have made towards Kansas wrestlers. You see uncle Gut fell off a couch on his porch several years ago and banged his dome on a gnome, which was quite a decorative addition to his trailer front. That blunt trauma to the head, led to the tragic diagnosis of iamanidiotitis.
Uncle Gut escaped from a state run institution in Missouri and has not been seen for some time. Although not physically a threat, he is a registered vex offender in a number of Mid-Western states. (For those at UNK: Vex means to disturb or annoy, especially in a petty way).
He has a way of luring innocent high school wrestlers in by promoting promising ways to fulfill their dream of becoming a state champion at the beginning of the season, only to belittle and berate them, at the season’s conclusion. It is a truly tragic disease.
He unfortunately has a secondary diagnosis of selective amnesia and is unable to recall his own name or where he lives, but can list countless wrestling credentials that he has obtained without hesitation, quite a devastating plight for a man to deal with.
If anyone does run into Uncle Gut or is able to identify his whereabouts, please contact the Missouri Hospital for the Verbally Insane. They will be glad to get him back.
Again, I would like to apologize for my uncle’s behavior, he may not have fallen off the turnip truck but he did fall off the sofa, so cut the man some slack.
Good Luck Kansans at the Metro Classic
Sincerely,
Abdominal Pliers I